No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
