I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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