yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
