Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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