FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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