Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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