So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize