This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Randomize
