We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
