Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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