lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
