i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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