if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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