So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
