im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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