ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize