Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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