3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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