he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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