the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
