ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
