This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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