I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
