somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Is this like a preordered booty call?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
