I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
