But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
