i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Randomize
