he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
