I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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