I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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