dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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