Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
