She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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