Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
