it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
