They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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