so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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