I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
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This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
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Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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