My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
