I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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