We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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