Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
