Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
