So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
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Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
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I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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