i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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