mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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