last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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