Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
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