I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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