He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
