I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
