My pussy is not your playground.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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