yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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