my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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