with your own penis?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
