My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
