i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
