Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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