So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize