Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
