He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
