she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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